Thursday, February 03, 2011

How to Make Cocoa: A DIY Housekeeping Intervention

1. Wake up.
2. Blow nose for 30 minutes.
3. Decide on a cup of hot cocoa.
4. There is only one microwave safe mug in the apartment. It's location, precisely speaking, is "not here."
5. Move to plan B.
6. Dig electric kettle out of bottomless void under the sink.
7. Dig electric kettle base out of bottomless void under sink. Yank on cord until it comes free, but do not speculate on what it could have been stuck on.
8. Find cleanish rag and wash dust off electric kettle. Fill with water.
9. Locate husband's overpriced Starbucks travel mug.
10. Dig down to the bottom of the dish pile and locate lid to said mug. Wash with cleanish rag.
11. Stare at kettle until the realization sets in that it will work better plugged in.
12. Search for cocoa. While searching formulate plan for untimely fate of husband, should he have drank (drunk?) it all.
13. Locate cocoa. Speculate about whether it is still safe to drink if it looks like that.
14. Mix water and cocoa in mug. Stir with butter knife that looks mostly clean.
15. Return to bed. Blow nose for 30 minutes. Go back to sleep. Wake up when cocoa is cold.

No comments: