Sunday, September 11, 2011

So Close, and yet So Far

Margie and I are discussing marriage.

Margie: My husband words for Shanxi TV.
Me: I'm going to be a guest on the talk show, Hello Ni Hao.
Margie: Oh, so maybe you'll meet him!
Me:  Maybe I can spy on him for you.
Margie: No, that would be a waste of time.  I never worry about what he's up to when I am not around.  My husband is too old, fat and ugly to have a mattress.
Me: A mattress?
Margie: Oh, I meant a mistress.  Basically the same thing, though.

Discussing America with Jackie.

Jackie: I've heard that America has a lot of terrorist cities--
Me: What?
Jackie: --places where people go to relax, see famous places--
Me: Oh, you mean tourist cities.
Jackie: Yeah, terrorist cities.
Me: Yeah, we need to work on your pronunciation.

Getting to know you.

Me: Have you ever won an award?
Tina: Yes.
Me: What kind of award did you win?
Tina: I won an award for an English competition.
Me: very cool.
Tina: I also won an award for playing the piano...every year for the last six years.  I won two awards for chemistry, one for math, one for and English speech competition--
Me: Dang, Gina!
Tina: What?  What does that mean?
Me: Um, I meant to say, you're very talented.
Tina: So, "Dang, Gina!" means I am talented?
Me: More or less.

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