Margie and I are discussing marriage.
Margie: My husband words for Shanxi TV.
Me: I'm going to be a guest on the talk show, Hello Ni Hao.
Margie: Oh, so maybe you'll meet him!
Me: Maybe I can spy on him for you.
Margie: No, that would be a waste of time. I never worry about what he's up to when I am not around. My husband is too old, fat and ugly to have a mattress.
Me: A mattress?
Margie: Oh, I meant a mistress. Basically the same thing, though.
Discussing America with Jackie.
Jackie: I've heard that America has a lot of terrorist cities--
Jackie: --places where people go to relax, see famous places--
Me: Oh, you mean tourist cities.
Jackie: Yeah, terrorist cities.
Me: Yeah, we need to work on your pronunciation.
Getting to know you.
Me: Have you ever won an award?
Me: What kind of award did you win?
Tina: I won an award for an English competition.
Me: very cool.
Tina: I also won an award for playing the piano...every year for the last six years. I won two awards for chemistry, one for math, one for and English speech competition--
Me: Dang, Gina!
Tina: What? What does that mean?
Me: Um, I meant to say, you're very talented.
Tina: So, "Dang, Gina!" means I am talented?
Me: More or less.