Panamobama

I lost my internet access for a few days, but I'm back now!  If you're interested, I finished reading The DaVinci Code and wrote a short review on Goodreads, which you can read here.  If you're on Goodreads, or you like reading, you should become my friend.  I want more people to talk about books with me.

Here are some conversations I've had recently.

Me: What is most important to you?
Harmony: My family.  And books.
Me: I knew I liked you.

Me: Why'd she let you answer her phone?
Howard: She was too drunk to answer it.  We had been drinking Pee...peer...beef... no, beer!
Me: When?  This morning?

Judy and I are guessing words, Catchphrase-style.

Judy: I don't live in a house, I live in an apart...
Me: Apartment?
Judy: Yes.
Me: Okay, go on.
Judy:  That's it.  The word is "meant."
Me: Do you know what it means?
Judy: I'm supposed to know what it means?
Me: Of course.
Judy: Whatever.  I still got you to say it.

I am showing Harmony pictures of American holidays.

Me: Do you know what day this is?
Harmony: (Mentally translating from Chinese) Thank You Day?
Me: Close.  It's called Thanksgiving.
Harmony: English words too many long.
Me: I agree.  (Showing a picture of a plate of cookies laid out for Santa Claus) Do you know what day this is?
Harmony: There is Cookie Day in America?!
Me: There should be.  I think I like your holidays better.
Harmony: You welcome.

We are looking at a map of the world.

Michael: Where's Panama?
Gene: In the White House.
Abbot: That's Obama, genius!
Gene: There's two?

Self-Esteem FAIL

Sheri: I'm going to go to high school in California.
Me: Which city?
Shari: Sack...er...Sack...
Me: Sacramento?
Shari: Yes!
Me: Do you know the name of your high school?
Shari: Loser High School.
Me: Say what?
Shari: Loser High School.
Me: Umm...
Shari: You know, it's spelled L-U-T-H---
Me: Oh!  Luther High School!

We've got Baseball and Apple Pie, too

Party Animal and I are looking at a map of the US, locating famous landmarks.

Party Animal: Where is the free woman?
Me: Pardon?
Party Animal: (poses)
Me: Oh, you mean the Statue of Liberty!
Party Animal: Yeah, the free woman.  It's famous in America.
Me: So they say.

A Moment of Panic

A popular method of practicing English in China is to choose famous speeches or monologues from movies and memorize them.  Neil and I are looking at a map of the US, choosing destinations for his trip to the US this summer.

Neil: Oh look, Texas.  They lynch Negroes in Texas.
Me: What?!?
Neil: It's from the movie, The Great Debaters.
Me: Sweetie, I gotta explain something to you...

Here's something lighter.  Candy and I are looking at the map of the US, preparing for her to go to high school in Tampa, Florida next year.

Me: Here's Tampa.  Here's LA, Washington DC and New York.  I come from here, Portland.  That's the best city.  Here's Forks, where vampires come from.
Harmony: Where's Denmark?
Me: Denmark?
Harmony: Wait, never mind, that's in Europe.