Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Day 7

This is a list of widely (though not universally) -held beliefs in China.  Though some are debatable, generally speaking I disagree with all of them, and I won't miss running up against them in my everyday life.

  1. A nap in the afternoon is necessary for good health.
  2. It is acceptable for teens to only sleep six hours per night.
  3. The iPhone costs only $200 in the US.
  4. Cold drinks and foods give you stomachaches, diarrhea, cancer, and are very bad for menstruating women.
  5. Drinking hot water makes you feel cooler (in temperature).
  6. Eating spicy food makes you feel cooler.
  7. Chinese people have different (less healthy) bodies than westerners and that's why Chinese medicine works for them but not for westerners.
  8. Western medicine is bad because it has side effects.
  9. Something is clean if it has been wiped or rinsed with water.
  10. Tall buildings mean a city is developed.
  11. Using the “back door” to get things done means the Chinese are more clever; westerners aren’t creative enough to think of using the back door.
  12. A pet (especially a dog) in the house is bad for a baby or a pregnant woman.
  13. Neither the new mom nor the baby can bathe for 30 days after delivery.
  14. A woman should be on bed rest for 30 days before having a baby.
  15. Chopsticks are easier to use than forks (simpler is the same as easier).
  16. You can't write Chinese characters with your left hand.
  17. Left-handed people are more clever than right-handed people, but it’s still wrong to be left-handed
  18. You can't eat noodles with a fork.
  19. A spoon is the next best thing to a fork (ie western people use spoons more than forks or knives).
  20. Boiling removes impurities from tap water (not just kills bacteria).
  21. Butter is beef fat.
  22. In America and Canada the government gives you money to have more children.
  23. All Americans are rich and own cars and single-family homes.
  24. Americans look down on Chinese people.
  25. Chinese food is really expensive in America.
  26. Cheese and butter are the same thing.
  27. All Americans speak Spanish.
  28. Mandarin Chinese is becoming really popular in America.
  29. White people are Americans; members of other races are not true Americans.
  30. Americans use the IPA to study English because the IPA is American pinyin.
  31. If a baby is exposed to more than one language before age two he or she will never learn the mother tongue properly.
  32. America considers Japan it’s little brother.
  33. America opposes China in various political issues to punish China for it’s economic policies.
  34. Americans eat plain (untoasted) bread and milk for breakfast.
  35. Exercise is good for a cold.
  36. Everything is cheap in America.
  37. Americans spend most of their time discussing sports and entertainment.
  38. Black people are dangerous and white Americans live in fear of them.
  39. Chinese people who go live abroad (even second generation and beyond) have a duty to learn the Chinese language and even if they are citizens of another country their primary national identity should still be Chinese.
  40. All Americans are promiscuous.
  41. You can get over a cold in one day.
  42.  Elementary-aged children should have as many extracurricular ectivities as possible, such as owning a pet, to fill up their free time, but they don't have enough time for these activities in high school, so hobbies must be given up and pets must be given away, whether or not it is good for the pet.
  43. Studying is more important than physical exercise for high school students.
Also, this just happened:

Peter: Let's watch a movie.
Me: Okay.  What kind of movie is it?
Peter: Black man.
Me: (rolls eyes)
Peter: What?
Me: You're so racist.  "Black man" is not a kind of movie.  You have to learn how to see people beyond color.
Peter: I mean, Men in Black.
Me: Oh, never mind.
Peter: You assumed I was being racist.  Doesn't that mean that the racist one is---
Me: Shut up!


Char M said...

I live in Shanghai. This list is true. Very, very, very true. I'm crying.

Anonymous said...

Even "Western Medicine Doctors" agree drinking cold drinks isn't good for you. Warm drinks or body temperature drinks ARE much better for you. And the whole confinement after birth thing? Western European countries did it decades ago too and now it's seeing a revival. So perhaps... Not "too" quick to dismiss these Chinese beliefs! When you eat an orange, take the fruit and throw out the pips:-) some are good, true and helpful but not all.