It is 1:00am. Peter and I are sitting in a barbecue restaurant eating grilled zucchini and discussing our latest scheme, to open a noodle shop in Xi'an and use the proceeds to return to the US and open a number of very successful restaurants. We are discussing the risks involved in this plan, and which US cities would be best to settle in.
Peter: What if the mafia comes after us?
Me: Just what sort of restaurant are you planning?
Peter: Does it matter? What if they bother us?
Me: The mafia will leave us alone if we leave them alone. That kind of thing doesn't happen to us.
Peter: Our car got stolen.
Me: That wasn't the mafia. That was drug addicts.
Peter: What if they come up to us on the street with a gun and ask for money?
Me: A mugging? That's not the mafia either. That's also the drug addicts.
Peter: Then what does the mafia do?
Me: Loan money at really high interest rates and pressure us to pay it back quickly.
Peter: Like our credit cards?
Peter: Wow. Is the mafia in Dallas?
Me: I don't know. Most of what I know about the mafia comes from movies. I've never heard of a Dallas mafia.
Peter: Why wouldn't the mafia be in Dallas?
Me: I don't know, maybe they don't like rodeo?
Peter: Well, if we do get involved with the mafia, what should we do?
Me: Look baby, you worry about opening the noodle shop, raising the money, relocating us to the US and opening a restaurant there. Let me worry about holding off the mobsters.